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Adira Amaris

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[27 Jul 2003|12:13am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

It's strange, but all of the other concerns that once figured so largely in my life - Dueling Club, dress robes, even my hopeless crush on Sirius - have all receded to some quiet little place in the back of my mind since the start of term. I'm just so weary these days that it's becoming impossible to focus on everything at once. I haven't even found the time to write in this diary!

I started going to the Forbidden Forest at night almost immediately, even with Dueling Club and lessons. Now I've argued with Firenze, my N.E.W.T. study is going terribly, and I can barely keep my eyes open even during Defense Against the Dark Arts and Care of Magical Creatures. Mum's already sent me a Howler about schoolwork. Said she could sense all the way from home that I wasn't living up to my potential.

I don't think anyone else suspects what I've been up to; at least, no one has said anything to me about it - yet. I was so angry just a few minutes ago at Firenze for refusing to help me, but I know too that I should have expected it. He's always been maddeningly vague for a creature who can See. Like that 'great secret' he used to go on about, something about a rat among the wolf, the stag, and the dog, and all four protected by the halls of Hogwarts, 'even in the Forest bounds.' Firenze would never say more than that, and what little I do have of it only came out in trickles here and there over the past few years.

But tonight he spoke of the coming war, and although a part of me has known it to be true for some time now, I'm still frightened. So few people are truly aware of the scale of what is happening. The only reason Mum told me was because of Great-Aunt Margot's disappearance. How else could she explain it, after all?

One can only imagine what it will take to expose the entire wizarding world to - he calls himself Lord Voldemort, but Mum says his real name is Tom Riddle and that he was a student here at Hogwarts years ago, and Head Boy at that. It seems hard to reconcile the two images (and I guess that's why among those who do know, there are many who refuse to believe), but it's true, and it's terrible. Even in the short time we've been at Hogwarts this term, he has only gained more power and followers - and hurt and killed more innocent Muggles, wizards, and witches; not just Muggle-borns but half-bloods like me, and even some purebloods who stood up to him. With what little the Ministry has been able to discover, that number may include my great-aunt, by now.

Even so, maybe Firenze is right. Maybe I should give up visiting the Forest, trying to fight evil from the confines of Hogwarts, at least for now. Focus on my classes and my friends and make the most of my last year at Hogwarts, like everyone else. But - I know something is happening, something so huge - and Firenze is the only one who could help me. Until tonight, I thought he would. He may still, despite what he said in the Forest. I'll just have to figure out another way of finding out what I need to know. Until then, though, I'm going to concentrate on the most important things in my life right now - friends and school, and hope for the best. Lily's been so quiet with those terrible dreams, and I'm afraid I've been neglecting everyone else as well.

I really must schedule a Dueling Club practice; we're running terribly behind. With Bellatrix and her cronies climbing the team ladder with their almost-but-not-quite-Dark spellcasting at every meeting, the rest of us need all the practice we can get, too.

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[08 Jul 2003|06:38pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

*Adira curls up in an armchair by the fireplace in the Gryffindor Tower common room with a parchment paper notebook and a quill...*

Back at Hogwarts at last! I can hardly wait to visit the Forbidden Forest. Unfortunately, it looks like I'll have to hold out a few more weeks yet. What with all the usual fuss at start of term and Dueling Club tryouts and N.E.W.T. study groups already forming, I'll hardly have any time to sleep, much less probe Firenze for more clues about what he told me in June.

I can't worry about that now, though. Hopefully my new dress robes will manage, as usual, to drive all the worries out of my head. We spent all day in Diagon Alley shopping for school, but most of our time (and Galleons) in Madame Malkin's. I had mine made in Gryffindor colors, and the other girls' robes were simply gorgeous. Afterward we went for butterbeers at the Leaky Cauldron and ran into several other Hogwarts students who apparently had the same idea of getting their shopping done a day early. It was a wonderful day, almost perfect. In fact, the only way it could have been better would have been running into him...

I don't know how many days like that we'll have to look forward to this year. Mum's in a regular state over Great-Aunt Margot's disappearance, and with all the cases she's been dealing with at the Ministry. We can only hope the Aurors will be able to take out this Voldemort character before things get any more out of hand. He's already recruited a band of followers, and there are so many missing and dead. People are becoming more aware of him, but the fear is rising slowly, and Voldemort is only gaining more power with each passing day.

Speaking of evil, that Slytherin girl Bellatrix Black approached me on the train about joining the Dueling Club before I could escape to my compartment. I was polite enough about it, but let's see what she does in the trials. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she did make the club; the girl has a serious fetish for the Dark Arts. It's hard to believe he could ever be related to...that.

But I'm not going to worry about things that are beyond my control. I just want to focus on being with my friends and having the best last year at Hogwarts that I can...At least until N.E.W.T. time! For now, I'm ecstatic over being back at Hogwarts, even if I'm already going to have to hex some noisy ickle first and second years. Or I could just join in on the round of Exploding Snap.

It's great to be back.

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and the sorting hat says... [04 Jul 2003|12:43am]
[ mood | happy ]

i'm in gryffindor!

be sorted @ nimbo.net
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